In case you've been wondering...

[mrfixit]

I know I've been quiet here- and even recently.
Bottom line is, I will be getting a divorce. I'm having a rough time with it, since she decided to cheat on me even before she told me she wanted out. Furthermore, she blatantly stated she has every intention of seeing this worm again when she goes back down to Florida this thursday.
She doesn't think life with me is going where she wants- CRAP! Life with her certainly isn't where I wanted it to go, right now!~
I have given her every possible percentage of myself that I have left. Personally, I think she has gone a quarter past midnight on her mental clock, and I'm just a casualty. She admits herself, that there really is no future with this worm, but adds that she looks forward to investigating future relationships...
I know I should have seen this coming, and feel like a fool for being the "strong man who can take the hits" for 26 years. Frankly, I have put a lot of time and work into this marriage that has only come back to bite me. I am partially disabled, with a crippled left knee, partially blind, have an enlarged heart and extremely quirky high blood pressure. My income is next to nothing, because what I AM able to do is fickle work. I love what I do, and pray God accelerates the earnings, but right now there is nothing to even bail out with. Maybe I'll go get a title loan on the *****'s car.
Did I say I was upset?

 

[Truckin4life]

Wow man, sorry to hear it. Let me know if I can do anything...

 

[5.0Flareside]

oh man. Tom thats bad news man..


just keep your head up and keep on truckin man...

 

[LEB Ben]

Sorry to hear that Tom, your FTF community is here for you.

 

[Fordzilla80]

Dang man,i'm real sorry to hear that.

Best of luck to ya through this ordeal.

I hope the Big D won't be too nasty,you definitely don't need it.

 

[mrfixit]

Here's where I stand on what happens in Divorce- I actually want her to have this place. I have a lot of blood, sweat and tears in this land, but I also have memories of HER. I'm more than happy for her to take over the work that it needs, the repairs, the mowing, trimming and other things that have yet to be done to the roof and such. I will gladly let her have all that and be happy with Ten, fifteen or twenty K for my part of what is left. She can keep her car- it's painful for me to get in and out of anyway. As far as I know, we have no cash reserves, so I guess I'll be getting a structured settlement. I have my guitars, my computer, and my clothes- That Motorhome out there is in my parent's name, so she can't touch that. She wants the place, fine- she can figure out how to pay me for it.

 

[mrfixit]

I've got that motorhome, and I have a campsite over in Kansas that I can live on. It's about 90 miles from here, but the kids don't visit that often anyway, so I can go, park and fish to my heart's content.
The only bills I will have will be food, phone, internet, insurance, cell, electric and my gas for driving- I may or may not get my benefits, but writing provides a small amount for now.

 

[73F100Shortbed]

That sucks to hear. I hope everything works out in your favor.

 

[smokey]

I will keep you in my prayers Tom. You have a place to stay with the camper no matter what the future holds unlike so many others.

 

[Mil1ion]

Tom I was basically in the exact same place as you in December 07

Everyday I try to dig out of it.

It seems these women in their 50's get this idea that the grass is greener on the otherside of the mtn. They soon find out that what they had was what they HAD.. and now they will live in another version of Fantasy.

What happened to the days of people actually standing by their comittments ?

Please know I am here for you as well.

 

[lil_dq]

Tom if you need help packing your **** let me know!

 

[mrfixit]

Thank you all- This is her 5th stab in my heart of this magnitude- I know, fool me once...
But like Dennis said, for ME, it's been about honoring my promise. And, I can't guarantee I can just stand back if she starts to flounder, to be honest. but I'm praying about it.
I take her to the airport thurs. That gives me at least 2 weeks alone here to gather all the facts I need. I may have lost her, and I am probably better off for it, but I'm going to make sure I don't have to pay for it, too.

 

[CaFordDude]

Divorce sucks in the beginning but is better in the end. TRUST ME!

 

[6L PWR]

I don't know what to say Tom. You know I'm here for you as well. Just let me know where to ship the next batch of Peanut Butter.

 

[O'Rattlecan]

God Bless you Tom. You have my number and know where I'm at with this.

Ryan

 

[BlondeGurli]

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I know I don't know you all that well but from what I do know about you, it's that you are an amazingly kind man. From what I gather about her, she's an immature girl going through some sort of psychological imbalance, possibly a "mid-life crisis".

You deserve better and I'm sorry that it's happened to you but count your blessings that you have the motorhome and somewhere to go with it. Be thankful that you have two weeks to get your ducks in a row without her hovering over you like a hawk.


Like I said, I don't know you all that well but I am MORE than willing to help out with the emotional/psychological support I can give since I can't help you physically from CA. I have a BA in psy so if you need to talk things through with an outsider who won't judge you and who only wants to help, give me a shout.

 

[mtflat]

Sorry to hear your news Tom. Prayers going your way.

 

[polarbear]

Sorry to hear that.

 

[mrfixit]

Thanks, All. Especially for those kind words, Trista, and all the rest of you.
One of the things I can't get my head around is that she expects me to still "DO" for her- like to go to Florida and help move her step-dad in a week or two, or I was working on the lawn and she came out to give me her dinner order- I never say this, but WTF???
My beliefs make me treat her with kindness, but I've never seen such a user, before.

 

[Mil1ion]

My former common law spouse demanded I drive her to Calgary 2-3 times a week to go visit strange men saying it was simple friendship

Then I found out she was giving BJ's to other strange men when she was in Calgary at her basement suite.

I don't blame her, as she had suffered 4 brain injuries and ended up with the mentality of when she was about 13.
She started drinking alcohol, smoking again and on occasion went out on the deck topless then eventually naked.

I was doing everything to protect her from herself but I was up against 9 people who thought she was okay

Had we been married, I could stopped her in her tracks.

I couldn't even get a mental health warrant served in her because her children are both dysfunctional and couldn't care less about her.

For your sake ....I would have her doctor refer her to a Psychiatrist for5 an accessment.