LEB Ben
Arrogant A-hole At-Large
I figured this was fitting:
You know Pepsi originated in New Bern, Cheerwine in Salisbury, and that Mountain Dew was invented in Lumberton.
You know Coke tastes better in the little bottles and that peanuts make Coke taste even better.
You have an opinion about UNC. You went there and loved it, or you hate everyone who did.
Your folks have taken trips to the mountains to look at leaves.
Your school took a field trip to the State Fair in Raleigh.
You would elect Richard Petty or Ric Flair for governor if either ever ran.
You watched as Dale Earnhardt was the only man who ever lived who could go 200 mph, spin somebody out, call them a you-know-what, and win the race, all in the last lap.
You skipped school or work to go to Dale Earnhardt’s memorial service.
A tobaggon to you means a knit cap, not a sled.
You sold Krispy Kreme doughnuts for a school or church fundraiser
before those glazed doughnuts went global.
When you're traveling out of state, people ask if you're from Mayberry.
You remember watching the ACC Tournament on television at school.
The local newspaper covers state, national and international news
in one page, but sports requires six pages.
Most men in town consider the first day of deer season a national holiday.
Fifty degrees Fahrenheit is “a little chilly.?
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing “Conetoe? or “Topsail.?
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waitin’ to pass a tractor on the highway.
Your school classes were canceled because of a hurricane.
Your school classes were canceled because of hunting season.
Your school classes were canceled because of a livestock show.
You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour...each way.
You know more about ACC basketball than professional basketball.
You know the Carolina League is the greatest baseball league in the country.
You think South Carolina was dead weight well shed.
You know tea is served sweet unless you specifically ask for unsweetened.
You’ve ever had to switch from “Heat? to “A/C? in the same day.
You think ethanol makes your truck run a lot better.
Stores don’t have bags...they have sacks and are called Piggly Wigglys.
You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
Most of the festivals around the state are named after a fruit, vegetable or tobacco.
Priming was your first job...and you know what it means.
Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and comes with cole slaw on top.
You say catty-wampus, yunto, ill-ass and ah-ite.
You know the difference between a deer dog, a bear dog and a coon dog by the way they bark.
You put security lights on your house and your garage and leave both of them unlocked.
Your four seasons are almost summer, summer, still summer, and highway construction.
You can tell if another North Carolinian is from Eastern or Western North Carolina as soon as he opens his mouth.
You can spell words such as Ocracoke, Fuquay-Varina and Chocowinity.
When asked how your trip to any foreign, exotic place was you say, “It was different.?
Hyde County is considered a foreign or exotic place.
In the Piedmont, you see all the grown-ups go out and play in the snow.
Schools and churches hold barbecue fundraisers with banana puddin’ as the dessert.
Your folks would rather eat at Bojangles’s than McDonald’s.
You have actually uttered the phrase, “It’s too hot to go to the pool.?
You consider being a “Pork Queen? an honor.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You faithfully drink Pepsi or Mt. Dew every day of your life.
You know what “cow tipping? is.
You have your own secret BBQ sauce.
You or your neighbors have more hunting dogs than you have family members.
You know what Cow Bingo is and have played it at school as a fundraiser.
If you have anymore, please add them.
You know Pepsi originated in New Bern, Cheerwine in Salisbury, and that Mountain Dew was invented in Lumberton.
You know Coke tastes better in the little bottles and that peanuts make Coke taste even better.
You have an opinion about UNC. You went there and loved it, or you hate everyone who did.
Your folks have taken trips to the mountains to look at leaves.
Your school took a field trip to the State Fair in Raleigh.
You would elect Richard Petty or Ric Flair for governor if either ever ran.
You watched as Dale Earnhardt was the only man who ever lived who could go 200 mph, spin somebody out, call them a you-know-what, and win the race, all in the last lap.
You skipped school or work to go to Dale Earnhardt’s memorial service.
A tobaggon to you means a knit cap, not a sled.
You sold Krispy Kreme doughnuts for a school or church fundraiser
before those glazed doughnuts went global.
When you're traveling out of state, people ask if you're from Mayberry.
You remember watching the ACC Tournament on television at school.
The local newspaper covers state, national and international news
in one page, but sports requires six pages.
Most men in town consider the first day of deer season a national holiday.
Fifty degrees Fahrenheit is “a little chilly.?
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing “Conetoe? or “Topsail.?
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waitin’ to pass a tractor on the highway.
Your school classes were canceled because of a hurricane.
Your school classes were canceled because of hunting season.
Your school classes were canceled because of a livestock show.
You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour...each way.
You know more about ACC basketball than professional basketball.
You know the Carolina League is the greatest baseball league in the country.
You think South Carolina was dead weight well shed.
You know tea is served sweet unless you specifically ask for unsweetened.
You’ve ever had to switch from “Heat? to “A/C? in the same day.
You think ethanol makes your truck run a lot better.
Stores don’t have bags...they have sacks and are called Piggly Wigglys.
You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
Most of the festivals around the state are named after a fruit, vegetable or tobacco.
Priming was your first job...and you know what it means.
Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and comes with cole slaw on top.
You say catty-wampus, yunto, ill-ass and ah-ite.
You know the difference between a deer dog, a bear dog and a coon dog by the way they bark.
You put security lights on your house and your garage and leave both of them unlocked.
Your four seasons are almost summer, summer, still summer, and highway construction.
You can tell if another North Carolinian is from Eastern or Western North Carolina as soon as he opens his mouth.
You can spell words such as Ocracoke, Fuquay-Varina and Chocowinity.
When asked how your trip to any foreign, exotic place was you say, “It was different.?
Hyde County is considered a foreign or exotic place.
In the Piedmont, you see all the grown-ups go out and play in the snow.
Schools and churches hold barbecue fundraisers with banana puddin’ as the dessert.
Your folks would rather eat at Bojangles’s than McDonald’s.
You have actually uttered the phrase, “It’s too hot to go to the pool.?
You consider being a “Pork Queen? an honor.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You faithfully drink Pepsi or Mt. Dew every day of your life.
You know what “cow tipping? is.
You have your own secret BBQ sauce.
You or your neighbors have more hunting dogs than you have family members.
You know what Cow Bingo is and have played it at school as a fundraiser.
If you have anymore, please add them.
